Question about love. Not a problem with my car!?! No, it's German

"Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2" (pompei426) 12/16/2014 at 00:27 • Filed to: None

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Those of you who have experienced it, or are experiencing it, how long till those three pesky, yet powerful words were blurter out? I'm in a relationship, and it's pretty serious (post the damn ND picture, I don't care). I consider myself more of a romantic in the sense that I don't want to be with someone if my heart isn't in it. It might sound stupid or foolish, but even though I'm in college, I going for the end game. Not into hookups or anything temporary. Not worth my time or money. More than anything, any car, I want to be happy, and to me that means being with someone I love and loves me back. I'd drive a Prius for the rest of my life if it guaranteed my happiness with the one I love. Now, I must say, I'm not scared, confused, or anything like that while writing this post. I'm simply writing this to ask the first question. Who said it first, what was the response, how long did it take? I ended up saying it two months in, so about three weeks ago. She said she wasn't ready to say it yet. And I'm glad she didn't. Tells me that she takes this seriously. For now, I'm just coasting along making her happy as can be and patiently waiting. Thanks for reading and/or commenting. I know it's not about cars. Just wanted to hear your thoughts. Also, if I seem crazy as fuck, tell me why. I don't want to be delusional. But, I must add that everyone keeps telling me how lucky I am and how perfect the two of us are together. And, our parents get along. For some more info about this, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

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Bandit > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 00:31

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4 months, she did first and I didn't say it back for a couple more months.

Manuél Ferrari > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 00:31

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"I'd drive a Prius for the rest of my life if it guaranteed my happiness with the one I love."

Damn. You really are a romantic!

I'm trying to think if I would drive a Prius forever in exchange for getting to marry the girl of my dreams. Hmm... That's a hard one!

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 00:36

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it's getting better and better 5 months into this relationship of mineand we haven't muttered those words yet. It's very much implied but I don't feel any stress needing to do so or her needing to also to validate it.

Go with your flow and don't worry about it. Actions always speak louder than words.

Actions always speak louder than words.

Actions always speak louder than words.

shop-teacher > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 00:38

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I said it two months in. She took a few more months to say it back. Married with our second kid on the way, so it worked out :)

Little Black Coupe Turned Silver > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 00:38

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Every relationship is going to be different, so just take things how they are progressing for you two and enjoy it. It's perfectly find you've said it and she hasn't, just keep doing what you're doing. She will say it when she's ready.

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 00:38

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From someone who is going on a second date with his new girlfriend this Wednesday GAH EXCITEEEEENT!! :D Good on you man! :D

claramag, Mustaco Master > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 00:40

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I've been with my baby for three years as of Saturday

I first told her I loved her about...8 months into it

She didn't say anything back because she's a Mustang

But she just clocked in 172xxx miles, mostly factory, so I take it as mutual

Manuél Ferrari > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 00:44

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And as far as timing I just don't know how long you're supposed to wait to say it or when girls normally say it back. I waited way too long once, said it way too fast a couple times, etc. It's so damn confusing.

I definitely don't think you're delusional. 2 months in isn't crazy. If it was 2 weeks in then that would be weird. But 2 months is an acceptable amount of time (at least in my book) to wait if you really like someone right off the bat and feel like you love them after 2 months.

My guess, based on my own experiences and those of others that I've talked to, is that you should give her up to 6 months to see how she feels about you. If she doesn't feel that she loves you too within 6 months from now then she's either not in place in her life where it's possible for her to love someone or she just doesn't love you and continuing to wait will just take time and be painful. I've waited WAY more than 6 months (multiple times) for someone I loved to love me back and they never did. I will never do that again. My personal max now is 6 months, but I don't think I could even last that long after spilling the beans myself. I don't think I would wait more than 3 or 4 months max to see if the girl feels the same way. Because I feel like people really don't need much longer than that to figure out how they feel and the longer you wait the more you get attached and the more it sucks if it doesn't work out.

Hopefully it all works out for you and she falls for you too SOON. And hopefully you don't have to sacrifice fun cars and drive a Prius for love :)

SVTyler > claramag, Mustaco Master 12/16/2014 at 00:44

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^ The love story of our time right here, people.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Manuél Ferrari 12/16/2014 at 00:45

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You and I both know we can't give up Porsche for that; romantics we are not! Right?

Manuél Ferrari > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2014 at 00:49

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We are romantics! We just can't give up ze Porsches. We are attached to the hip to them for life. How can we be K Roll or Rusto if we don't have a Porsche in the garage?

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > Manuél Ferrari 12/16/2014 at 00:50

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Wasn't really planning on driving a Prius, just stressing the point. Thing is, she's not very experienced with relationships. I'm her first serious one, and things might be going slow, but we are both fine with that. Honestly, I don't need to hear it right now. I'd like to, but I know her and she's quite innocent and oblivious to many things (I find it cute). So, I'm not expecting it any time soon. Only problem is she's leaving for Australia in Feb. for study abroad and I'd like to hear it before then. But, I trust her and know what I have and even though she hasn't said it, it doesn't mean it isn't at least partially true.

Aaron James > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 00:51

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All sounds perfectly normal to me. It varies so much. I've told three people I love them in my life and had four say it to me. First was my high school girlfriend, it was love at first sight for me but I was too chicken to say anything. She was the first to say it about a month in and I responded in kind. 2nd was my ex wife it was 3-4 months and I said it after we had sex for the first time. Her response was an awkward "me too". 3rd was the girl I dated after my divorce. we were both divorced and probably waited 6-8 months but had hinted to each other earlier that we were falling in love(don't remember who said it first, probably her). The one I didn't say it back too was a girl I met in the Army while I was still with my highschool girlfriend. (after we had broken up, I didn't cheat on her) anyway this girl went home to Missouri and I went home to Ohio we kept in touch and I'd go visit her once a month for a weekend spent entirely in bed. The last time I went to see her as she got up monday morning to go to work she leaned over me and she said "I just really want you to know that I love you" I was shocked because it was out of the blue and just looked up at her silent. After a minute she said, "it's ok I don't need you to say it back as long as you know" I've dated hundreds of women but if I reflect back I only truly loved one of them and that was my high school girlfriend. I loved my wife but not nearly in the same way or as intense as I loved and still love my high school girlfriend. 23 years later we are great friends but it took 15 years of mostly not talking to get that way.

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 12/16/2014 at 00:53

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Completely get that, and I act accordingly. It's the little things that I later find out make her day or week. I don't have to say shit. I said it too early, and I know that and feel kinda foolish for saying it so soon, but at the time, I couldn't hold it in and wanted to be honest with her.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Manuél Ferrari 12/16/2014 at 00:54

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I don't know man...

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 12/16/2014 at 00:56

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Thanks. Hopefully some of this is helpful. Biggest mistake is becoming delusional and obsessing over the person. It's really hard. You want to give it your everything, but sometimes you make the most progress when you don't even try. The relationship before this, my first real one, I said it in three days, and she said it back. God, how fucking stupid was I. She was a whore who really had me out of my element. The girl I'm now with keeps me so grounded, it's perfect. Also, don't neglect your friends and family. Can't stress that enough. Just live your life. Sorry if I wrote too much, but yah, best of luck. I'm sure you will be fine.

Manuél Ferrari > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 00:57

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I know, I was just kidding :) Too hard not to joke about the Prius :D

How long is she going to AU for? I went there for a year for study abroad

Manuél Ferrari > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2014 at 00:58

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They can take our homes

They can take our money

They can take our pride

But they will never take our Porsches!

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 00:58

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dude. This is my third relationship, and I'm a Junior IN HIGH SCHOOL! :)

I know what I'm doing here. I like this girl, and she likes me. My best friend is her best friend. We both want to make it work, and it's working out great so far! :)

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Manuél Ferrari 12/16/2014 at 01:01

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WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Er...I mean.

FREIHIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > Aaron James 12/16/2014 at 01:01

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Thanks for sharing. It's a crazy thing and it's more than words. I don't want to sound stupid, but I really want to spend the rest of my life with this girl. We might not like the same things, but were always intrigued by each other. And happy. I've never been happier.

Frank Grimes > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 01:02

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I have never said it. Does anyone have the rare out of print Haynes manual on women?

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 12/16/2014 at 01:02

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Good, I don't doubt you. Some people though, it can be scary to watch.

Manuél Ferrari > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2014 at 01:04

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lol

Aaron James > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 01:07

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You don't don't sound stupid at all, love is a very powerful thing that the word itself doesn't even begin to describe. Best of luck on your journey through this crazy life.

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > Manuél Ferrari 12/16/2014 at 01:07

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It's worth mentioning that her dad drives a Prius and she brought it down. Out of the blue one day she said she is going to do something I won't like and didn't know whether to tell me or wait to show me. Off a whim, I say, "well you're not looking for a car, so this isn't about a Prius." Needless to say, it was a shocking moment when I called it. She knows me that well.

She's going from early Feb to June. I don't know when because the university gives a month for finals and they can be at any time in the month. It's going to be really fucking hard and I don't want to think about it. And it's not about sex or anything like that. Sure it's nice, but that's not why I'm in a relationship. What university did you go to?

this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 01:12

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Your mileage may vary. Mine sure has, depending on the relationship.

For example, my current ladyfriend (she ain't just a 'girl'), who I had been flirting/hanging out/messing around with for more than a year, drunk texted me those three words more than once before we were even an official couple, so when I said it right at the start of the actual relationship it was a pretty safe bet she'd say it back.

Not that this is normal situation. My point is every relationship is different. Say it when you've felt it for a little while and it seems like something that isn't going away. Say it as soon as you feel ready, when it feels like you can't keep in any longer... and whatever happens next, happens next.

Which seems to be what you did. So no, you're not even the slightest bit crazy or delusional. Unless of course I am too.

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata 12/16/2014 at 01:14

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Pretty much what happened. I couldn't keep myself from saying it. Everything has still been smooth sailing. I have nothing to worry about.

Redd, the RX-7 that could > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 01:17

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When I'm wasted, about 3 am. When I'm sober, wait what's love again?

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > Frank Grimes 12/16/2014 at 01:17

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Better start reading, this is only volume 1 of 57

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > Redd, the RX-7 that could 12/16/2014 at 01:19

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Manuél Ferrari > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 01:22

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LOL

Oh you're so lucky! Feb to June isn't bad at all. I was gone from Feb to December! Waiting 5 months is a lot more doable than a year.

I went to UCSB here in the states and UNSW in Sydney

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 02:21

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I think you're doing well, I feel this is a good pace you're going. quite a long comment is ahead.

Although I only had one relationship in my life (I turned down many before that), I know my fair share of stuff.

My only relationship was in my teenage years in high school, which ended with the girl dumping me after a month and a half, and going with a guy who she was dating before me, who later abused her. She was cute, but I sensed no connection with her. I'll say she loved playing racing simulations on my PC.

This girl cried to me after she got abused, over IM, and since were were classmates, I couldn't avoid her. I couldn't do anything to help, because I didn't know. This was a time that I was practically bubblewrapped due to seizures.

If I knew how, I would have helped her out of the mess she was in (she was into drugs and excessive alcohol, and her sister got all psycho knowing her over the course of high school). I haven't heard from her ever since she moved into another part of town.

and for something else here, I have a long time friend who's been obsessing in a long distance relationship of a girl he has never met (I also haven't seen him in person in a long time, so IM is basically the only means of contacting him), and he has been extremely sour towards me recently. He thinks I "talked shit" about his girlfriend back in August, when I didn't say anything. All he refers me to is "fag", "gay", and the n-word. he and his GF are in the same chat group, including a Los Angeles-Winsonsin couple who are having the time of their lives together, and actually talk to me like real people, which his girlfriend also does.

The main issue here is, my friend claims to be "engaged" with his girlfriend, after only 3 months into the relationship. He hasn't even met his "fiance" 's (note quotations here) parents, due to them locking down on IM and Skype due to a previous relationship that she was forced to watch porn.

So, I'm not sure what to do here, and every conversation I do with him leads to backlash towards me. He's dissing me for my phone, my gaming preferences, and any image of stuff I send to that chat group, and claims he works harder than me, and generally being really cocky. Not sure what he's been up to recently, other than this stuff. I hate to burn the bridge, but I'm ready to do so.

GhostZ > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 02:30

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BAH HUMBUG

Stephen the Canuck > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 07:09

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She let it slip when we were out at a restaurant about two months in, I took another couple of months to say it back. Just a little over three years in now and still going very strong.

I told her I wasn't entirely ready to say it yet, and she didn't pressure me at all. It was so natural and nice and it really helped me to feel comfortable enough to say it.

Mattbob > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 12/16/2014 at 08:24

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I'm right there with you. I said it first, I think slightly sooner than you did. That was almost 8 years ago. Real happiness is much more important than putting your weiner in as many things as possible.

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy 12/16/2014 at 08:29

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Cut the bad stuff out of your life. There's a reason I don't talk to my father very often. As hard as it is, some things have to be done. This one seems obvious.

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > GhostZ 12/16/2014 at 08:42

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Don cuts to the core. Even if it's made up, it's what you perceive is as that matters.